The Enemy Of Happiness

It is important to make the terms I use in this article clear to all readers. The term "oppressive" means the abuse, disrespect, domination and hurt some entities in society impose on others. The oppressor is anyone, group or system that by virtue of size, age, strength, position, economic and/or political power, or by the historical practice of gender, racial, class, geographical and cultural "preference" is assumed to have superiority or authority over others, or within the scope of their influence.

When a traditional victim of oppression reacts and attacks back in some way, physically, emotionally, socially, economically or politically, by definition, this is not oppression. It is a reactive, defensive act, one driven by indignation, anger or hopelessness. At best such reaction is an attempt to correct the violation of human rights. At worst, if the act is inhumane or criminal, of course, it should be addressed, and prosecuted. In short, there is no such thing as "reverse discrimination." This is a coined phrase to either obscure the issue of oppression, or an accusation made out of lack of understanding the dynamics of oppression and oppressive behavior.

The oppressor can be the bully on the block, the parent(s), the person(s)in authority, the male (or in some cultures, perhaps, the female), the group that historically has the material and/or political power, or any entity that by historical practice exercises its will over others unjustly, regardless of intentions or rationale.

Oppression and its destructively painful effects has, by virtue of historical practice, been woven into the fabric of society so intricately that it is endemically and universally assumed to be the status quo, the "way it is," in human affairs. The pattern of oppression is the single most responsible force for the scourge of human unhappiness, suffering and hostile conflict.

No one living is originally at fault for the habits of oppression that characterize much of human society. Everyone is, nevertheless, responsible for utilizing their gift of human intelligence to raise their awareness, to heal the habitual and hurtful effects of oppression in themselves and others, to prevent oppressive behavior from infecting others, especially the preborns, infants and young ones of the next generation.

Can we, as human beings, accomplish this? Of course, when we realize and make the commitment to reclaim the phenomenal qualities and powers we have acquired through evolution, which every one of us inherently possesses the moment we are made.

Before we look into what our powerful human nature is really like, it is useful to name some of the behaviors that characterize the habits of oppression. The list names many facets but certainly not all:

Not listening with an open, caring, patient, nonjudgmental mind.

Not putting aside one's agenda and emotional tension when listening to others.

Not permitting nor supporting another's expression of emotions, thoughts and ideas fully. Interrupting and discounting any such expression.

Not paying attention nor making time for such listening and support.

Not demonstrating consistent, caring love, affection and value towards others, especially young ones.

Withholding needed and useful information about everything known.

Modeling and dumping one's emotional tensions and irrational behaviors on others, especially young ones. Inducing, by word or deed, anyone into destructive behaviors.

Not treating everyone with respect and equality, regardless of age or difference.

Scapegoating (blaming), threatening and labeling by word and/or treatment any other human being, especially young ones.

Showing favoritism to anyone over any other. Conferring advantage to any over others

By word, attitude or deed expressing prejudice towards anyone or group of any kind. By word, attitude or deed teaching prejudice to any other, especially young ones.

Abusing any other physically, emotionally, psychologically, sexually, economically.

Depriving anyone or group the resources for decent health, living conditions, education, play, work, rest, transportation, access and opportunity. Making such necessities harder for anyone to acquire, than for anyone else.

Exploitation, domination, bullying, manipulation of, harming or lying to, anyone, group, culture or nation for any reason whatsoever.

Colluding with persons or groups who so exploit, dominate or bully, manipulate or lie.

Ignoring, permitting, pretending or remaining unaware of inhumane, unhealthy, deprived, cruel or dangerous conditions in which people live, whether one's own or that of others.

Conducting affairs in relationships, families and in society in any way that excessively benefits some while inflicting unequal circumstances, deprivation, pain or suffering on others.

Standing by in silence when witnessing any such above behavior being inflicted by anyone or group on any other; or failing to do anything about it when it is reasonably safe to do so.

Inflicting any such behavior on one's self or another similar to one's self, in gender, race or difference (this is internalized oppression).

The deepest hurt inflicted by such oppressions is the invalidation of one's value, worth or right to enjoy life as fully as anyone. The scar of invalidation is deeply imbedded within a person's psyche, that is, one's entire system: physical, physiological, psychological, emotional, behavioral systems; in one's life perspectives, ideation, choices and health.

The scar of invalidation can be seen in one's temperament, general mood, behavioral style, vocal tone, posture, general facial expression, habitual speech expressions, emotional reactivity, and masks (cover up, defense behaviors).

While chronic (internalized) invalidation operates all the time in hidden ways, one can often identify one's, or another's, sense of invalidation by the habit behaviors one displays, and the "feelings" or thoughts which emerge when one encounters a sufficiently upsetting event or stimulus. In one or more ways the feelings and/or the thoughts have underlying ideation of little or no personal worth. Such ideation may be "not being good enough, not smart enough, not as good as, not beautiful or likable enough, not capable enough, not lovable or acceptable enough, not talented enough, in short not worthwhile enough." Generally we are not aware of these messages, in so many words. but our painful "feelings" point to them.

Internalized, chronic invalidation effects one's entire life quality and condition; health, well-being, relationships, level of achievement, confidence, self esteem, joy, vitality, endurance and longevity.

The oppressive habits of invalidation are historical, They are perpetuated generation after generation by virtue of modeling and conditioning each new crop of young one's into internalizing such habits. The young grow up acting them out and passing them on, in turn, to their own children.

This is psychological inheritance. Humans are organic, adaptive life forms. Our very genes are adaptive; that is how we have managed to survive as a specie. After generations our genes adapt not only to the environment and circumstances, but also to the oppressive conditions. The behavior and adaptation is reintroduced and perpetuated generation after generation. This is why researchers can discover a gene for "depression" or a gene for "alcoholism," a gene for obesity and so on.

In society the oppressive model is so habitual and so pervasive that we have come to commonly believe that these behaviors constitute the natural function and personalities of people. In the next chapter we will discuss a different model of inherent human nature.

Our distressful, warped, funny, very often strange behaviors are not inherent. They are acquired and internalized, that is, wired into the very young and developing psychic/neural system of every new human being born and raised in the oppressive society. Call it cultural branding, socialization or imprinting.

In an early twentieth century psychology experiment, studying the dynamics of adaptation to hopeless and depressive conditions, a dog was placed in a box containing two compartments. Half of the box was wired to deliver a small electric shock. The other half of the box was safe, a refuge away from the uncomfortable side. The safe side was attainable simply by an easy jump over the barrier dividing the two sides.

At first, each time the shock was delivered the dog jumped to the safe side. Each time, however, the dog's escape reaction became less and less spontaneous. After each event the dog was returned to the wired part. After several trials the dog became adapted to the discomfort and finally did not attempt to escape any further. The dog just lay on the wired bed of the box in an apparent dull and repressed mood even when the shocks were repeatedly delivered for a time.

The roots of Oppression have a real cause. The cause will be explored in a later chapter.

These oppressive habits are acted out at every level of society, by individuals, within relationships, families, and the institutions of society.

By reclaiming one's inherent ideation of self worth and operation of one's inherent healing system, one can overcome a great deal of the hurt and reverse the effects of invalidation. One can recover a far greater joy and quality of life. This is the purpose of this work.

Before we discuss the cause of oppression, It is useful to explore what we human beings are really made of. What comprises our power and ability to overcome the hurtful effect of oppressive conditioning, and recover a better quality of life.