Chapter II

The Essence of Happiness

In human society, from our beginning to the present time, people have been and continue to be conditioned in a distressful way. In chapter one many oppressive behaviors are described which effect such conditioning. Most, if not all, of us are habitually conditioned to believe that we are in some, or many ways, lacking in quality and worth.

This assault on our innate sense of worth is an invalidation of our very being. When this occurs in our early years, during our fundamental development period, the invalidation becomes chronic, that is, continuously and automatically operating to distort, in negative or unrealistic ways, our sense of self, our perception of the events we face and of the world. Chronic Invalidation influences our responses, behaviors, our choices, the very quality of life and ultimately our health and longevity.

Invalidation is a threat to the quality of our survival. Threat produces "flight or fight" chemistry in our neural/hormonal system: adrenalin, epinephrine, steroids, cortisol and other hormones and chemistry. When this chemistry is permitted to remain unreleased, in our system, it produces long term erosion and damage to our entire system. More about this in a later chapter entitled "The Mechanism of Hurt and Oppression."

The "messages" that invalidation manifests in our minds are that im some ways we are not good enough, not smart enough, beautiful enough, not acceptable, capable, not lovable or special enough, not creative nor adept, not "normal" enough.

The psycho/emotional distress that accompanies these messages of invalidation leads to many forms of chronic pain: guilt, humiliation (shame), depression, anxiety, hopelessness and powerlessness, to name just a few syndromes of distress.

Some of us are conditioned in an equally irrational and opposite way: that we are better or superior to others, more deserving of life's advantages and riches than others, more deserving to rule, and have power over others.

These chronic distress syndromes, or patterns, have led to the evolution of the grievous social oppressions which have plagued us throughout history: classism, elitism, racism and ethnicism, sexism and homophobia, ageism and children-ism, war, domination, poverty, crime, addiction, and many other forms of societal oppression.

In the animal kingdom among those species that are organized around social structures we see a hierarchical order of rank and privilege. The "alpha" male or female, as the case may be, enjoys first choice of mates (reproduction and gene pool rights), the first choice of food and comfort, often controlling the behavior of the group members.

Periodically, an individual challenges the alpha for leadership and breeding rights. Generally there is no killing involved, rather a show of greater prowess, strength and endurance. The "loser" takes its place in a less privileged role: guard, guardian, hunter and the like. Sometimes the "loser" moves away from the group to live in isolation or to start its own family group.

There is no apparent hurt done to the vitality, health, mood or behavioral quality of the losing individual animal. It takes its place in a naturally functional way. All this is instinctual.

It is far different for human beings. We do not operate merely on instinct but our evolution has provided us with intuition and awareness. These two powerful factors endow us with an innate sense of equality, and due to the uniqueness of every human being, a sense of value and importance to the condition and well being of the human family. This, for one thing, accounts for the general empathy people have for those in need, danger or stricken with ill health.

Witness how the very young one is distressed and upset when confronted with a harsh look or tone, treatment or a tense environment, by an empty stomach, even a full diaper neglected too long.

When an infant is confronted with harsh treatment, neglect or deprivation it reacts spontaneously, powerfully and loudly. Tears, screams, tantrums, often shaking will ensue. This is a natural mechanism for the purpose of arousing attention from others to the problem, and for getting a solution to the oppression, or physical discomfort. This mechanism is also the surface part of our natural healing system. If the infant is supported with caring attention when it is releasing the distress, and the releasing is allowed to run its course the infant will shed the internal toxicity triggered by the oppressive event, and the infant will return to its natural joyful and confident state. Refer to the chapter entitled "The Mechanism of Healing, Recovery and Power."

However, if the oppressive treatment or environment persists and occurs often enough, the infant internalizes the distress and the "messages" of not being worthy or important enough for caring attention. The distress and invalidation forms a reactive neural bundle in the still developing brain of the young one. The bundle is organized around the painful emotion, the messages of invalidation, all the stimuli and sensory nuances of the distressful event and all the reactive behavior. When any part of the neural bundle (the pattern) is triggered the entire pattern is triggered off. The neural bundle becomes a distress pattern of rigid and distorted perception, inhibited thinking (notice how hard it is to think rationally when caught in the grip of emotional pain), negative self ideation, emotional pain and irrational behaviors.

The distress patterns drive much of our behavior. In the un-understanding and oppressive society we are then judged to have "personalities" defined by our rigid and distressful behaviors, and labeled accordingly: the good one, the bad one, the dumb one, the smart one, the ugly one, the beautiful one are some examples of such labeling, and subsequent roles we are conditioned to play in life.

More about this phenomenon in a later chapter entitled "The Mechanism of Hurt and Oppression."

So, if we are not our conditioned behaviors, who and what are we"

Every new born human comes into the world with an innate, intuitive expectation of good nurturance, care, protection (we are physically vulnerable for a comparatively long time, because our human brain and intelligence needs to assimilate and understand the vast complexities humans must master in order to both survive and thrive). At birth, we naturally expect the warm mechanism of well being we call love, affection, care and delight These constitute the first "language" that inform us of our worth and safety.

The closest model of what we are really like is found in our youngest children. While many children are already distressed, after all they are also confronted by an oppressive society, in their families and by others, they are far less so than older children, teens and adults. Our youngest still retain in operation much of their inherent nature.

We need to take the time to observe them and be reminded of the elegant and special nature inherent in human beings.

Take a discovery tour. Go to a place where very young children congregate, a pre-school, a playground facility, the beach and such. Spend a good block of time observing the young ones.

What will you see" Of course, in any group of children, or adults, there may be some who are socially reticent or repressed and some who are hyper or aggressive. Most are alive, active and socially agreeable.

Beyond this you will see quite remarkable qualities operating in the majority population. You will see natural joy and delight, spontaneous curiosity and an unhesitant impulse to put their discoveries to use and practice. You will see this natural impulse experimenting, using whatever material and devises available, the slide, the climbing bar structure, the swing, the sand, the shovel, the ball or blocks, the paper, pencils and crayons. You will see each child practice each activity over and over until mastery is achieved. You will see the children then go on to the next step to take on the greater complexity and challenge. You will see great cooperation among the children when the activity calls for it.

Intelligence

You can witness, even in your own home, the infant and the toddler acting like a young and naive scientist, curious and spontaneous, manipulating toys, taking things apart and trying to put them back together. Going on to master the article, getting bored with it because there is no more to learn from it, eagerly waiting to take on the new and greater challenge.

You will see great delight, naturally flowing from them at their learning, understanding and achievement. In front of your eyes you would be witnessing the solid confirmation of the confidence they are born with, and which serves them well in the task of thriving throughout their lives.

You will see how their intelligence sparkle as they learn language, identify and sort out objects and learn to associate and understand concepts. You will see perhaps more than ten billion smart neurons in the child's young brain at work.

Can we not see how this great potential becomes limited and stifled when we take over the learning tasks of young children or overdo our help, rather than being present with quiet warmth, timely information and appreciation" Can we not see how damaging to their confidence and self esteem when we harshly interfere or control their process authoritatively rather than support them with loving "partnership" and delight"

Every human brain comes equipped with at least ten billion neurons (with the rare exception in the case of accidental or genetic damage) all ready to talk to one another, to understand and master the phenomena of the environment, relations and associations. Every new human being has this genius potential. It is oppressive and repressive treatment that inhibits the flowering of natural genius.

This is only the beginning of the whole battery of inherent attributes in the young person.

Joy, Love and Affection

You will see the joy and delight they have in the experimentation, practice and mastery we blithely call "play." In the play not only with things but with one another as they delight in the discovery and budding blessings we call social interaction and development.

Every child comes into the world with natural and intuitive expectation to be greeted and treated with delight, warmth, protection and nurturance. It is hurtful trauma encountered by the mother that may inhibit this innate expectation in the developing child in her womb.

You will see the easy display of warmth and affection, even love, as they reach their arms out to touch and to hug. Even after a few months of life, this natural impulse of affection and love is evident. It flows out toward the caring adult as well as to their young brothers and sisters.

This warmth, affection and love is our first language that informs the young one he and she are precious, important and safe. The display of this language also informs and rewards the caring other, adult or child.

The famous experiment conducted by the researcher Harlow in the first part of the twentieth century showed how young primates reacted to different levels of social contact. He placed one young monkey in a cage with a wire manikin covered with terry cloth which conformed to its shape. He placed a second young monkey in a cage with a wire manikin without the terry cloth. He placed a third young monkey in a cage alone, with no other object.

The first two monkeys were seen to cling constantly to the manikin "mothers." When the monkeys matured in age the experimenter found that the first monkey reacted in a slightly less comparable way to other monkeys raised by their mothers. The second monkey was more shy and reticent. The third monkey was sullen and ferociously attacked another monkey which was placed in the cage with it.

Before conceptual and verbal development comes the natural and powerful of those forces we call love and affection. Real love and real affection is characterized by warm closeness, gentle touching and gazing, intimate play, unflagging care, nonjudgmental acceptance, equality and respect, easy and timely attention, willing sharing, cooperation and fairness. Inherently, none of these attributes require effort. They operate as natural and organic mechanisms between individuals, because nature provides these as the foundation for successful survival and thriving. Without such a foundation an individual's development flounders and falls short of her or his human potential.

Expression and Communication

We are naturally expressive and communicative. We see this spontaneously in the very young. Our vocal abilities, our facial expression, our hands and body language are our early means of communicating feelings, needs, delight, approval or disapproval. The coos, smiles and giggles of the infant communicate encouragement and approval. The sparkling eyes and broad smiles convey the child's delight and confidence as it understands and accomplishes some undertaking.

The crying of a child signals grief at loss or harsh treatment or response to tense situations. Her or his tension filled eyes, constricted facial muscles, perhaps screams, cold sweat signal fear and response to threat and danger. The frowned eyebrows and set mouth, the beating fists and kicking feet, hot sweat display the frustration and anger a child feels at unfair or just treatment.

All such expression and communication constitute natural necessity and our ability to both foster good relations, to enlist help and support to correct and solve troubling circumstances. Obviously our survival and success depend on such natural mechanisms.

Curiosity and Spontaneity

Who can dispute the curiosity and spontaneity every young one shows as it encounters new objects and situations" Everything goes into the infant's mouth, falls prey to its dancing and probing fingers, scrutinized by its eyes and ears while its nose operates continuously and almost invisibly. Its senses are transmitting the object's information, properties and opportunities for further manipulation to the infant's brain and learning centers.

From things in the mouth, broken apart and manipulated comes the eventual building of bridges, cities, machines, invention, artistic and technical mastery, conquest of the skies and space, chemical and medical and scientific genius, harvesting of the seas and earth for food and pleasure (waste, destruction, corruption and pollution of our natural environment comes from shortsighted, irrational and greedy exploitation).

Why does not every human grow up to accomplish such heights of accomplishment" Many do, of course, but many, many more are raised in environments infected by irrational and oppressive treatment, lack of support, attention, information and those attributes mentioned above. The reader can review the many behaviors listed in chapter one that inhibit and stymie good development.

In the later chapter, "The Mechanisms of Hurt", one can read how hurt and oppressive treatment inhibits the operation of the brain and optimal function.

Courage and Compassion

Courage is the companion of curiosity, spontaneity and discovery. Without natural courage these attributes remain locked. Courage also is the drive that facilitates confronting the unknown as well as the dangerous or threatening situation, or the oppressor by standing up and expressing principle, and righteous indignation against unjust treatment. Every child shows such courage when she or he lets out indignant feelings, protests authoritarian control and bullying. Human history and progress is written by human courage and compassion.

Courage is also the other side of the coin of care, compassion and altruism. We see this at work when one takes the side of the underdog against oppression and bullying, or when one puts her or his own life in danger to protect or save others. Children show this often as well as adults.

Courage, love, care, affection are all part of that which we call compassion. There is a deeper function of compassion than the surface signs of warm feelings and attitudes. It is related to the survival and well being of the human family. Without the urge of compassion and care humans would not come to aid of those in need, whether the needy ones be neighbors or strangers a world apart.

It is only the practice of power politics and propagandistic conditioning that stands in the way of all out efforts to fully alleviate the deprivation, suffering and oppressive conditions of peoples both here at home and abroad. Such conditioning was clearly seen at work, for example, in the official policy and treatment of American Natives, of Africans kidnapped for slavery as well as many immigrant groups. We have many examples of such neglect and treatment today. On the other hand we have many examples of compassionate efforts as well.

Joy

As noted above, we come into the world with natural expectation of being welcomed with goodness and unconditional care, and to meet a world of love and kindness. We are intuitively joyful at this prospect. The easy flow of joy and delight flows out of every child. Greet one with a smile and bathe in the reflection of joy.

Of course, there are those who become inhibited or fearful because of early experience with hurtful events or who are the children of parents who model their trauma to such a degree that conditions the new ones with corresponding hurt, perhaps even as prenatal infants.

And as noted above, discovery and accomplishment produce the greatest bursts of joy in young ones. Of course! This process of mastery over the environment and its challenges deeply validates the innate confidence of the young one. It secures the intuitive knowledge and optimism that the world is the child's "oyster," innately assuring her and his of the potential for survival, success, thriving and contribution.

As for adults, under the circumstance of typical distressful conditioning, we are consumed with the pursuit of "feeling good." Our addictions to the many paths of this pursuit, workaholism or procrastination, food, drugs, alcohol, sex, "love," control and violence, excessive acquisition (money and material), " looking good," and the like, are compulsive efforts to shut off the bad feelings in the hope of producing good ones. These unhappy pursuits never produce real or lasting joy. The hunger for joy continues in the midst of momentary "good feelings" produced by addictive behaviors.

Yet the greatest joy for typical adults is related to that original and innocent state of childhood. Ask most adults what makes them enduringly happy, over anything else, and give them enough time to think, they will answer "doing what I love to do."

Sometimes adults may not seem to know what they really love to do. This is a symptom of how they were distressed and inhibited especially when young. In such a case I will ask "do you remember what you loved doing or dreaming of doing as a child"" "Yes, but that was only a childish thing" they may respond. "Ok" I say, "but what was it"" Whatever the answer, I'll have them focus on that as absurd as that may seem to them. Sooner or later the adult will come up with an adult outgrowth of the childhood dream. The dream of being a dancer may be the roots of controlling space, e.g. being a designer of some sort, or working with movement as a sports coach may do. Very often such a realization changed the life of my adult client. Sometimes an adult may not be aware of what wanted to do as a child. I have them make up a pursuit, focus on that, and in time it will open up what, indeed, they'd love to do.

The joy of pursuing what one "loves to do" is more reliable and enduring than even the joy of relationships, so often hampered by distress or "habit" as they are (again the result of conditioned distress). Doing what one loves to do is a natural way of manifesting a person's joy as well as making a contribution to all of humankind (the pebble dropped in the pond effect).

Intuition, Justice and Fairness

Because of human evolution, our brain structure has attained a complexity far greater than even science has yet to fathom. Research goes on at a great pace to understand how the human brain works and what it is capable of.

What we call "intuition" is deeper than how we define intelligence. Innate knowledge comes closer to defining intuition, This knowledge relates to what we know before and beyond learning. We innately know that we each are equal and as important as any. This is why we each protest at being treated or regarded as less worthy than anyone else, and why we hurt so much when we are so treated (feelings of hurt are in fact a natural signal and motivation to strive to correct and solve oppressive situations).

Yes, many are threatened and punished and oppressed while we are still young, so that we grow up fearful of asserting our equality and worth. Many of us are so hurt and conditioned that we internalize the oppressive invalidation to a point when we seem to come to believe we are less in someway or ways than others. This mechanism of self repression and accommodation is a means to protect ourselves against further pain and to survive as best we can. This invalidation colludes with the perception of self helplessness and powerlessness produced by the experience of persistent oppressive conditioning we encounter habitually in our families (and later in society at large), when we are still too young and too little to stop the hurtful treatment.

This internalized invalidation, helplessness and powerlessness is the foundation of those chronic distresses we call depression, anxiety, bi-polar and the other so called mental/emotional disorders (that mainstream medical/psychology practitioners and theorists continue to promulgate, lacking full awareness of how our physical/physiological system works with our psycho/emotional system and our immune system to effect the full force of our inherent healing abilities).

Notice I said above that we "seem we come to believe" the invalidations. At a deeper level our intuition continues to inform us that this is, in truth, a bunch of horse pucky. Our intuition keeps prodding us to try to reassert our worth and to somehow solve the injustice.

This innate intuition also informs us that everyone else, being human just as we are, is important to us for survival and accomplishment, and they are dependent on us in turn. We know that the others, being like us, and important to us, are also equal and worthy.

It is this intuitive innate knowledge that informs us of justice and fairness in our relations. It informs us intuitively what is right and what is wrong. We hear typically that young people have to be taught what is right, what is wrong and the codes of morality. Yes, this is so in present society because irrational, unfair treatment and behavior, patterns of controlling, bullying, deception, favoritism and violence is modeled by people older than the very young, and typically assumed to be "the way things are." Of course the young are socialized by this and internalize this idea which, over time, clouds their inherent moral sense.

In a rational society where the very young would grow up in an atmosphere of just and kind relationships their inherent sense of morality would be naturally preserved and operative. This quality of social functioning would then be perpetuated generation after generation.

This may seem to the reader to be wishful idealism. Of course it is not, because we can empirically see that social progress has been improving things all through our human history, despite the persistent problems we still face. Things have been improved for children, for women, for people of color overtime, in some aspects even for men. The pace of progress for men may be frustrating for some or for many, but that in itself is an indication of our inherent sense and conviction of justice and morality.

Our inherent intuition is responsible for countless ideas and acts of creativity and philosophy in addition to science. Humans have always used their great observation of natural phenomena to create art and music, myths, metaphysics, even spirituality. Our intuition has enabled the conceptualization of universal powers that have yet to be physically materialized, but which have moved and guided peoples throughout history.

Every human being has this inherent power of intuition. As a person proceeds to "heal" and reduce the pile of psycho/emotional debris accumulated in an irrational and oppressive society (in which this document hopes to participate), his and her power of intuition will more and more emerge for increasingly satisfying experience.

Trust and Openness

For its very survival every human is born with inherent trust and openness. He and she display this spontaneously in their relations with family and with others they encounter.

Witness the ready smiles and open arms with which the young one greets close ones and others. Witness the spontaneous feelings that come pouring out unobstructably, the body language and gestures, the smiles and giggles, the tears and screams, the protests.

Often when the adults don't know how to handle the protesting behavior of their young ones, rather than thinking and or getting rational help, they blame the young one and label the behavior as a "tantrum." This is wrong. No one has tantrums, or "dramatizes" tantrums unless there is an underlying unjust or unfair cause, or history of such causes. Every reader knows this by checking out her or his experiences of frustration or anger, when not being really listened to.

Of course dramatizing "tantrums" can become a habit pattern, and therefore can occur unreasonably, when the early causes of the anger was never solved. Unhappily, the dramatizer gains negative attention from the behavior. In such a case nothing ever gets resolved and matters, as well the psycho/emotional pain, only gets worse.

Every new human being inherently expects (and has a right) to be attended to sufficiently and helped to resolve a problem, or merely to experience the joy of sharing good things and acts.

Once again, it is the mistreatment, the disappointment and the thousands of little (and big) betrayals of trust and dependence that shuts down the young one's trust and openness. Through such oppressive treatment and relations the young one learns to distrust and to shut down communication, to be afraid, and thus to live a life of repressed pain and a kind of isolation that leads to despair.

How often do we hear the sad and pitiful lament "you are lucky to have one friend"" This is one of the tragic symptoms of the oppressive and dysfunctional society, as reflected in daily relations with families and others.

By modeling good attention, fairness and open, informative communication for our young ones, we preserve and enhance their power of trust and openness. As such young ones grow to adulthood they learn to judge who is trustworthy and dependable and who is not. They will respond appropriately and flexibly, and they will be able to trust their judgments. They will enjoy most of their relations. They can decide whom they cannot trust, and not allow any confrontation with an untrustworthy person or circumstance to inhibit their general ability to trust.

Trust and openness are great and rich components of a joyful life.

Immunity, healing, strength and Endurance

Have you, the reader, ever experienced the pinch of a baby's fingers on your nose or own finger" If you have, you probably marveled at the strength of such a young and little creature. And real life stories of human endurance are legion in our literature and reports.

In emergencies our muscles achieve feats that seem amazing to witnesses. Our emergency chemistry and hormones, the adrenalin and steroids and other substances have remarkable properties and ensuing capabilities.

Our immune system, when intact, is phenomenal in warding off bacteria and viruses, as well as the intrusion of foreign substance.

Our bodies and minds have the capability to lead strong, healthy lives far beyond the typical age range, and the typical deterioration we commonly see. Researches have spent decades studying and looking for the causes of ageing and deterioration. Report after report from such research offer the same conclusion: there is no reason found that can explain why humans age and fall apart the way we typically do. Many scientific reports found in journals and popular magazines actually state how our natural processes are capable of, and should provide, greater and healthier life spans.

The difficulty most researchers, scientists and the general population have is that we are socialized and conditioned to avoid, often to disregard, the one important area of human function that has a profound impact on our health and viability: the effect of the repressed, accumulated pile of psycho/emotional trauma (distresses) has on our entire system.

In the later chapter entitled "Our Inherent Healing Mechanism," our natural capability to "heal" and detoxify the effects of trauma and distress, and to rebound to healthy functioning, is described. This description is based on my thirty-five years (to this date of 2005 so far) of intense work with human beings, clients and students, and empirically noting the consistent and reliable replication of the process of this inherent ability to heal and retain, or recover, great measures of our mental and physical capabilities and powers.

A fundamental thing that accounts for the sad and painful distress of profound, personal loneliness and abandonment felt commonly by people in the dysfunctional and oppressive society (regardless of our efforts to deny, pretend, mask or otherwise escape from the pain) is the tragic habit of not paying real attention to one another; not really listening without disruption to one another.

How familiar is the following interaction between people:

Person 1, "How are you""

Person 2, "I'm fine, fine." (beat), "Can't complain." (beat) "Nobody listens anyway, right""

It is sad and it is pandemic.

Earlier I said that caring and compassion is a natural urge in human (and other) beings. Where does this habit of non-attention come from" The answer is simple even if the cause is complex. The habit stems from not being listened to. This begins first when people are young, they internalize the habit, they grow up, in turn, they don't listen others. And so it goes, from generation to generation.

Not paying attention and not listening is part of the entire oppressive syndrome in society. Read the later chapter "The Mechanism of Hurt and Oppression" for a description of how and why oppression got imprinted in the human experience.

Healing and recovery is inherent in the human make up. Before they are conditioned to not listen, very young children listen very well. When another child is displaying distress, the children near by will stop what they are doing and just naturally pay attention.

How can adults recover their willingness and ability to pay good attention and listen" It starts by becoming aware of the habit of non-attention, and the hurt, problems and distressful reactive behaviors it causes in human relations and function.

Secondly, every human being can decide to listen to her or his loved ones and others. The old habit does not disappear easily. One may have to decide over and over until the practice takes root in one's psyche and replaces the old, problem making habit.

The effort of becoming aware and deciding to reverse the conditioned habit is rich with rewards. It changes how one feels about oneself, it changes relationships, it changes families, it changes the future for young ones, it changes the work place, it changes the way we do business in society. It even changes the way we practice leadership and politics.

What happens when one is being truly listened to" When this happens the one being listened to senses the possibility of real support. Little by little (sometimes faster and faster) the listenee gains trust in the listener. Soon, the deeply hidden stories and feelings start emerging from within the listenee. The person's natural healing system kicks in and the chemistry of trauma and hurt starts to detox, that is to be released or discharged, in a variety of forms.

Talking and laughter, tears, sobs, hot or cold sweat, trembling, indignant sounds and words, yawning, not all at once (because we"ve been conditioned to hold all that in, e.g. males are not supposed to cry or show feelings, females may show such feelings because we are taught that females are "soft and weak"), but one form or another, or one form leading to another will emerge.

With this the trauma of grief and loss, humiliation, invalidation, abandonment, distrust, abuse, fear, physical tension, illness, boredom and many other hurts of mistreatment, oppression, disappointment or injury is getting lessened. The psycho/emotional system is getting freed of the impact of the old trauma and thus more able to think clearly and react more appropriately and rationally. One's physical and immune systems are strengthened with the detoxification (release, discharge) of repressed trauma chemistry.

Read the later chapter entitled "The Mechanism of Healing and Empowerment" for a full description of this inherent healing capability.

Listening well and respecting one another well is the single most important element in transforming society into the safe, rational, fair, happy and successful life experience humans have dreamt about, written about, prayed, fought for and died for as far back as we can know.

Beauty

We have heard the phrase "beauty is the eyes of the beholder." Human beauty goes far beyond that. Were it not for the troublesome fact that we are historically and culturally taught that beauty is measured by some physical formula (part of the culture of favoritism, elitism and exploitation for profit), we would see the real beauty that lies within all humans and everything in nature.

We would naturally acknowledge and appreciate that every human is unique. This uniqueness is potentially capable of contributing something important to the human experience and environment. Like individual flowers that make up the bouquet. We would see the beauty in the features, process and miracle of life that exists in every human and in the environment. We would see the beauty in the special ability to think, to search and gain understanding of the wonder of the universe, to conceptualize and create. We would see the ability to care, love and forgive, to evolve morally and spiritually in every human being.

Nature loves this uniqueness. She builds evolution and progress on the foundation of individual uniqueness, in her march towards, what...perfection" Every human being is naturally beautiful inside, outside and by extension, like the ripples in a pond that touch everything in the pond, beautiful everywhere. No matter the shape, size, color or condition, every human being is beautiful.

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All theses qualities and attributes described above are what every human is inherently made of. This is not an ideal. It is real. If it were not true, no change in how people behave and function can ever be accomplished. Even main stream psychotherapy, when applied with thought, caring and real listening effects results in human beings that move them closer to realizing their inherent potential, and further in their struggle and striving for meaningful, contributive lives