| Virginia Tech & The Other Tragedy |
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The tragic loss of thirty three innocent lives, thirty three potentials to make a difference in the way we conduct our human affairs, is beyond measure. The media keeps referring to thirty two lives taken, but please consider that Mr. Cho, the shooter, also started out as a new, innocent baby, as we all do. The shock and grief is intense and, due to the passive denial endemic in our culture, is, perhaps, destined to remain unhealed – perhaps, but perhaps not. As someone in the media noted, there will be grieving and due attention paid for about three months. In the present state of affairs, the matter will then sink beneath the societal swamp, to lie atop the pile of the skeletons of previous tragic and violent eruptions, except, of course, for the loved ones of those precious, lost lives. This leads to the Other Tragedy, the nature of which must be raised, over and over if needs be, to public consciousness and action. There are several elements to be considered. Why It Happened First, the reason behind such violent acts by everyday human beings: the student on a school rampage, the employee at the place of work, the kids on the street, the spouse or lover in a domestic dispute, the troubled, desperate persons turned robber, shooter, serial molester and killer, the teenager in despair, the child at home having access to a lethal weapon, et al. In the recent case of Cho at Virginia Tech, the universal cry wailed to the heavens, “why?” resounded, at least, as noted, for a moment in time. Cho was a troubled, distressed young man. This was known to fellow students, teachers, to deans, to the police and to the medicos at the evaluation facility where his mental state was diagnosed well before the shooting. Decades of research has shown us that many such troubled people sooner or later will act out the rage associated with mental distress, as surely as hot lava under pressure will explode from the volcano. Cho dramatized his rage against “rich kids,” against authorities, teachers, males and females whom he scapegoated in his violent act of gun slaughter. “Why” did Cho so act out? Again, piles of research on inmates have shown us that early oppression and abuse of children will result in violent and antisocial behavior. Parents of such children, and certainly of young Cho, often show a shocked and bewildered face to public scrutiny. But sure as day and night, family conditions behind closed doors must give rise to serious questions and examination. (Parents are not originally to blame either. There is neither general training nor counseling for parenting mandated in the land. Parents are left to repeat what they learn from their parents, the good and/or the irrational. (More discussion on this later) Oppression and abuse does not necessarily have to be physical in nature. Emotional and mental abuse in the form of emotional neglect, rejection, discounting, and invalidation, unconscious negative communication (tones of voice, body language, facial expressions, threats and such), send messages of worthlessness and unlovability to the child. All forms of abuse result in a quagmire of mental chronic, painful distress. These messages are always internalized in the child’s neural/emotional system and psyche. They wire up the brain to perceive and react to life in painful, distressful ways. Anger is part of such early conditioning. It festers in the child’s system over time, transforming into rage and eventually erupts against self and/or others. The parents are not necessarily targeted by the violence,(the child/grown up still desperately needs parental “approval” regardless of the hopelessness of ever getting it), but the rage is certainly transferred to others in society perceived by the child/teen/adult as rejecting or abusive. This why a person like Cho, obviously a victim of abusive conditioning himself, acts out violently against society. Society’s Role Another element of the tragedy lays in how society behaves Vis a Vis its abused members. The gun culture: The teachers, deans, police seemed to have acted appropriately, if not persistently, with respect to Cho’s behavior. It was only the Commonwealth of Virginia and its functionaries, apparently beclouded by the gun culture (oh well, another troubled one purchasing guns, what else is new?), who did not see fit to add Cho’s name to the state’s watch list for reference by gun dealers. This may have prevented the massacre, at least for time enough to raise a red flag when Cho attempted to buy guns, and for possible further intervention. What is it about guns among a population of mostly good people in America? Is it the old western “macho” image as in “I feel more like a man?” Does it make one feel more powerful and safe? Is it a statement of independence and rebellion against authority? Is it the delusion that killing something, an animal or another human being, makes one feel good or more powerful? Is it an addictive habit born out of centuries of feeling isolated, fearful and helpless in a world lacking in interconnection, trust and general compassion among its human inhabitants? Of course it is all the above and more. Again, research shows us that personal gun ownership does not make us safer. Accidents in the home and elsewhere are rife (remember Vice President Chaney’s recent hunting event, sadly to the delight of the media). Domestic disputes often end in shooting injury and death, often inflicted on the innocent. Defense against intruders often ends in tragedy for the innocent ones. Guns in the hands of criminals, usually stolen or obtained illegally, and certainly in the hands of “gang” members are responsible for the maiming and death of innocents, children, standers by, police, not to mention brothers and sisters of one’s self same race or interracial “rivals” (All of whom are vying for some sense of power, some identity, a piece of the turf, in lieu of the calamitous lack of equality, societal attention, opportunity and access). As to “feeling good,” more self esteem, more powerful, in charge and the other psychological factors related to having guns, it is all emotional delusion. Self esteem, power, in chargeness are all a function of psycho/emotional status and/or conditioning. Having a gun does not take mental distress away anymore than boos or drugs (or overeating, smoking et al) can cure unconscious or repressed emotional pain. This is a function of the syndrome of addiction. Persistent validation (against the messages of invalidation) by oneself and by trusted others, serious and effective emotional listening, counseling and therapy to detoxify (release) the internalized distress; decision to be truthful to oneself and raise one’s awareness to making better choices, and a consistent struggle to maintain such decisions are some of the remedies to the pain of psychological fear, powerlessness, emotional distress and messages of “worthlessness.” Such “healing” strategies of course bump into the way men and women are socialized; a “real” man is supposed to be strong, silent, a “winner,” conqueror and provider; a “real” woman is supposed to be soft, weak, emotional, subservient and serving. These destructive role clichés are factors in our mental and emotional distresses, and in typical gender socialization. They are symptomatic of a historically dysfunctional and troubled society. Integral to the perpetuation of the tragedy of the gun culture is the classic defense of falling back on the second amendment of the U.S. constitution which is interpreted as the right of citizenry to have arms. This right, of course, made sense in revolutionary times when a new and vulnerable nation faced the possible threat from abroad. And the right related to a citizen militia when there was no strong national military to defend the new nation. Today, the “militia” is the National Guard, and our military is generally strong. In the face of this and the fact that general gun ownership is so dangerous and destructive, rampant and uncontrolled gun ownership is senseless. The third leg upon which the gun culture stands is, of course, the predatory exploitation by those who profit from an uncontrolled gun environment: gun and ammunition manufacturers, and all the subsidiary industry and commercial enterprises that thrive on the gun addiction, and indirectly upon the tragic social fallout. These people are, of course, well intentioned, human and smart; can they not figure out productive ways to make a living other than presiding over such a pervasive climate of loss and death. Yes, they and everyone must take responsibility to improve our society. Is this notion too difficult to understand? And finally, the political agent of the gun lobby, the NRA, the National Rifle Association, itself addicted to power, perpetuates a climate of propaganda, discounting of opponents, political and financial pressure on representatives in state and national houses. The NRA’s function is to maintain the status quo of the out-of-control gun world, and thus the social addiction, greed, disgrace and tragic destruction of life, communal safety and trust. One of the NRA’s classic defense, mouthed by many, is “guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” The correct response surely is “people using guns kill people” The solution is a national commitment to meaningfully support the mental health and well being of people and to seriously effect and enforce gun control. The Parent Factor No parent alive is originally at fault for the faulty way they typically condition and socialize their children. As noted above, parents are left to follow the “rules” they learned from their parents as they grew up. It is, however, the responsibility of every parent and would be parent to seek training, counseling and guidance about rational and consistently caring ways of raising their young. They are responsible to raise their awareness about how their own behavior, their modeling, impacts the conditioning of their sons and daughters. It is the responsibility of society to support such parental effort. It is hard for parents in this materialistic and commercialized culture. First, parents have the most important job in society, that of raising and preparing their children who will carry the mantle of sustaining and furthering the well being of society as they mature to adulthood. Yet, the most neglected group in our society is the parent population. Young people have advocates from civil and governmental entities. The elderly have increasingly concerned advocates in society. But parents are generally left to shoulder the burden, and the blame when things go wrong, of raising children, of providing full care and education for their little ones. Government, corporations, business, education, all social players need to treasure and support parents, morally, economically and materially, particularly in the early years of their off spring. Paid leave policies must be generous, day care must be available and affordable, and corporations must provide child care facilities and personnel at the work site. Is it worth the tremendous investment? Of course, who are the consumers, the workers and managers who will carry on in the next generation? Call it Research and development investment. There needs to a national “Parent Day” holiday to celebrate and validate the job parents are required to do. Every able community should fund an “It takes a Village” group to provide moral, emotional, social, informational and advocative support for parents. Government should extend support and credit for such efforts. A little less military complex and war time (excess) profit should do the trick. Some of these things are being done, but so little in face of the tremendous national need. As it is now, parents, fending mostly on their own, work long hours, often requiring more than one job per family just to keep up, to pay the bills, to have adequate health care, to provide for their children’s needs and education. Parents come home daily from the job, often, exhausted, worried, troubled. They can’t really listen well and fully to their child’s concerns (who listens to theirs?), they feed the children, hound them to their home work, get them to sleep as soon as possible, head for a drink, fall asleep in front of the TV. They do give their children as much attention and affection as they have available under the stress of their daily pressures. Need we wonder why children generally feel so abandoned, able more to relate to their friends (often falling in with other troubled children and to take on troubled behaviors; when did their grades begin to fall?) than to their parents; underneath feeling so frustrated, angry and invalidated? Of course many, many parents are doing a relatively good job and many, many children are growing up relatively stable and successful. But how many are not? Picking up a gun to slaughter one self and/or others is an extreme case of “trouble in the mind.” What is the population of children acting out in many other troubled ways, certainly enough to demand that “attention must be paid,” commitment must be made, action must be taken. The Overwhelmed Public Generally the vast majority of people in our materialistic society endure the same overwhelming affects as parents do. Competition is good and natural. Hostile competition is enervating and destructive. In a society that operates under an oppressive cloud of hostile competition, a “dog eat dog” culture, “making a living,” struggling for a little advancement and security for self and family, is a fiercely daunting, all consuming, anxiety ridden enterprise for the vast majority of our people. At all levels, but especially everyday workers and their loved ones, people are assaulted by commercial and political deception, corruption, goughing, cheating, favoritism or lack of it, back-stabbing, repression by government, corporate and business, large and small, by bosses and managers; often by fellow workers stepping on and over one another for a little advantage; for the scraps of recognition and whatever reward is left after the billions and trillions are siphoned off by the top dogs, the few percent of society. People are preached to about fairness and decency, faith, trust and goodness, and in the everyday world their mental and nervous systems are shocked by the hypocrisy, betrayal and dissolution manifested by the behavior of leaders, bosses, icons and mentors in the world of business, politics, education and, so often, religion. Even between the leaders and bosses, business owners and managers the hostile competition produces the corrupt practices that muddies life for all. Add to this, individual worries about health, daily and long term survival, the well being of loved ones, the social behavior and pitfalls confronting one another and their children, as well as their personal distresses, how does Mr. Everyman and woman maintain attention to the big social issues such as gun tragedy, poverty, racism, gang warfare, political and governmental corruption, general safety and justice in society? Yes, Mr. Everyman and woman, at the end of the day with all this in their heads, try to deal with one another, with their children, read the news, watch the sensory bombardment on TV, escape into the delusional comfort of boos, TV palp, sexual fantasy or other means of anesthesia. Their fault? Hell no! If they could listen, really listen to one another, they’d have a chance to climb out of the torpor, to feel their indignation and take cooperative action against the indignity, injustice and indifference of society. Thus people, so inherently good, so overwhelmed, are shocked by the onslaught of another tragic event such as Colombine or Virginia Tech, incensed and outraged for a time until the oppressive swamp sucks them down again. Remedies; Are There Any? When people decide to act, especially in concert, they are very powerful. The messages that are produced by an oppressive system condition the population to feel hopeless and powerless. The messages are absurd, “That’s the way it is...you can’t fight city hall...people don’t change” and the like are exactly the way the agents of the status quo would like people to feel. When our awareness is raised to what we can have and the way we want our society to be like, there is no question about being able to effect the changes that bring about a more rational, safe and sane society in which to live, in which to thrive, in which our children can be safe, happy and flourishing. There are, of course, many groups, organizations and activists who daily strive to raise such awareness and make things better. But today, these entities are too separate and, again, in the culture of hostile competition, they must compete with one another for the dollar donations from individuals and, perhaps, grants, that are available. After people’s budgets are drained by living expenses, health care, insurance, education, emergencies and relentlessly high prices, there is very little left for donating to deserving causes. What must we do? First we must persistently refute the messages of hopelessness. We must refute the messages that we are not worth the best of everything and the effort by leaders to honestly and fully address our needs and social circumstances. We must decide what kind of society we want for ourselves and our children. Do we wish to continue to wallow in the danger, deprivation and pain of the status quo? Or, do we wish to have happier families, safer streets, honest business and political climates, good working conditions for all; do we want equality of justice, opportunity and access for all? Do we want harmony between diverse communities and peoples? Do we want to share mutual respect for our human identities and beliefs between ourselves and all other cultures? If it is the latter that we want, then we must stand up for these principles. We must communicate our wish, and unite one to one, group to group, and community to community, pool our resources, energy, will and commitment, so that no one would fall exhausted for the effort. We must rally to and support those who would lead the effort. We must persist against the onslaught of the opponents of such change: those who profit and benefit in some personal way from the daily strife, conflict and tragedy of the status quo. And, of course, such exploitation is addictive and anchored in thoughtless conditioned behaviors, so we must strive to raise their consciousness that they too were born human, and are too inherently good and smart to not want a safer, more humane society. Some Concrete Steps To reduce the tragedy associated with guns in the community: Mandate power to teachers, school, civic and justice officials to require support and effective counseling for troubled students (and troubled adults within with the system) and their parents, and perhaps implicated siblings. Parenting training needs to be a part of the counseling process. Mandate parenting education classes beginning in middle school terms and continuing through high school as a requirement for all students (are they not the parents to be – will they not be responsible for the quality of society?) Provide adjunct parenting classes for current parents and other adults in support of the above two measures. Form and promote community support and discussion groups centered on topics of societal improvement, necessary legislation and advocacy as may be needed in this regard. Require legislatures, justice and police departments to close any and all loopholes in current gun control laws. Enact gun control laws that may be needed to increase public safety and awareness. (Do we not wage an official campaign to reduce the harm and cost of smoking?) Require strict and conscientious enforcement of all gun control laws. Review and revise qualifications as to who genuinely needs to be licensed to own or hold guns. Increase police constitutional powers to clean communities of guns. ************** I encourage all readers and members to contribute your thought out ideas to this discussion. Thanks, Jack Donner
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Re:Virginia Tech & The Other Tragedy
Mar 09 2010 00:25:19 Reasons for violence and other social issues is. My two cents is mental health in individual humans, is the key to a healthy society. For psycho/emotionally stable humans to manifest within society, takes raising children that are not fragmented by the inconsistent word and action, of those that raise them and that they are, exposed to. Inconsistent input equals fragmented humans. Fragmented humans equal humans acting out the symptoms of those fragmented, painful portions of themselves.(social ills) Therefor an important factor in raising psycho/emotionally balanced humans, is consistency. Consistency in word and action, of parents, friends, schools, media, general society, organizations and government is all important. But it all begins with the parents first example, of how to Be. An important lesson in parenting: your children will become what you show them, by the example of your actions. They will not become: what you tell them, with words. On the primary levels of human existence, is where all of the conditioning and confusion begins. The important point for extra information, support, guidance and sometimes intervention is in the beginning when it is cheap, easier and will do some good toward raising a fully functioning human. Paying for all of the symptoms acted out within society, is excessive disaster control, after the fact. But it does make for a great distraction, a waste, but a great distraction.
And the fact that society is made up of individuals, seems to escape notice most of the time. Along with the fact that stable individuals, make a stable group. (society) There are definitely many social problems that plague humanity and many groups that need support, all made up of individuals. The better beginnings for all, the better the collective, social expression will be. Is how it is, because those in power continue to want it this way. The more psycho/emotionally imbalanced a human is, the better follower and consumer they make. Under aware and with many insecurities to market to. Imbalanced enough that they will believe that the next purchase, will set them free from their pain. Just another way to keep humanity fragmented into powerless groups, fighting with each other, stressed and running as fast as possible to stay in one place. (sexism, ageism, racism, nationalism, church wars, popularity wars, have & have not, etc.) So that the powers that be, can continue to fund one against the other, to keep it all going as is(sliding downhill), with a very small amount of investment. So as to maintain their access: to keep or utilize humanities resources, as they see fit. Is what keeps the 1% in control of the 99% of humanity. They will spend any amount and do anything possible to distract people from banning together, to change it. War anyone! Until humans get beyond that which the powers that be perpetuate, then nothing will improve. To do that, humanity needs to secede the right to each individual, to express them self as they see fit-in exchange for taking on responsibility to negate any harm done by their individual actions. Only then will strong, healthy, rational (grounded in reality) and fully functional, humans manifest. Functioning humans, taking responsibility for developing their own life fully and be a part of all of the processes that affect them. Standing up and telling the elected 1% what to do, how to do it, when to do it, what they will finance and what they won't - to negate any negative manifestation, perpetuated within society. And then have the balls to immediately get rid of them - for any inconsistent word and action! |
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